Wednesday, August 29, 2012
The columnist pens yet another tongue in cheek offering while poking fun at the foibles of ‘those who would be king.'
Editor's note: This column is a satire and contains fabricated quotes. The world spins, but not around you. ~ Jasper Comstock Citing the stress level of living next to a development chock full of residents over the age of 50 as being detrimental to their wellbeing, a group calling themselves 40 B Or Not To 40 B, has filed a petition with The Town of Norton protesting the construction of the proposed 230-unit affordable apartment complex adjacent to the pseudo-upscale Red Mill Village. “This is the last thing we need,” said group spokesman Sarah Bellum. “It’s just not fair! We shouldn’t be forced to live in an area teeming with crotchety old men with their pants hiked up to their chests, sporting white bucks with matching belts and bright …
Wednesday, August 15, 2012
The columnist is once again going for cheap laughs at the expense of others in the debate over breastfeeding.
Among those whom I like or admire, I can find no common denominator, but among those whom I love, I can: all of them make me laugh. ~ W. H. Auden US (English-born) critic & poet (1907 - 1973) I was astonished by the voracity and scope of the debate triggered by last Saturday’s Patch article, Where Do You Stand on Breastfeeding in Public? There were 46 comments posted in the oftentimes heated, sometimes humorous deliberations; a sizeable response by any standards. In Rantings And Other Despicable Acts In Three Part Harmony, a column I wrote for the Easton Patch in February of last year, I referenced an incident where I witnessed a young woman breastfeeding her baby at Starbuck’s in Easton. It was done in my usual playful, tongue-in-cheek …
Wednesday, August 1, 2012
The columnist has returned from two weeks on the southern coast of Maine with several coolers chock full of seafood. Now let’s see what he’s chock full of!
Babies don't need a vacation, but I still see them at the beach... it pisses me off! I'll go over to a little baby and say, “What are you doing here? You haven't worked a day in your life!” ~ Steven Wright Well, I’m back. Or I guess I should say, we’re back, since I brought my wife home with me. I did my best to leave Maine without her, but she chased me down the road, pulled the door open and jumped in before I could get away. Of course that’s not true; just a small, feeble attempt at humor. In reality, I’m sure she’d much rather have stayed up in Maine. I packed our SUV for our trip home, arranging and rearranging until, at last, I was able to cram everything in. When I finished there was barely enough room left for us! Prior to our trip…
Wednesday, July 18, 2012
The columnist seems to have adopted a rather cavalier attitude toward his work this week. Let’s see what’s up!
I’m entering my third full day of ‘ramp down’ mode. Actually, since I’m writing this early on a Monday afternoon, I guess by the time this is published I’ll be in my fifth day of the aforementioned mode. In case you haven’t figured it out yet, I’m on vacation. My wife and I arrived at our rental cottage in Maine on Saturday afternoon, totally psyched for two weeks of R & R and of course, primed to devour vast quantities of lobster along with any other creature known to dwell in the briny deep that doesn’t eat us first! We’re hidden away in a quaint little wooded area on the coast of Southern Maine, high on a hill well off the beaten path about 100 yards from the ocean. I’m sitting at the kitchen table as I compose this little ditty and …
Wednesday, July 4, 2012
In the third edition of his treatise on bullying, the columnist divulges his experiences with his personal fourth grade tormentor.
I had my bully, and it was excruciating. Not only the bully, but the intimidation I felt. ~ Robert Cormier Today is the Fourth of July and in my 40-plus years in the communications industry, mostly the newspaper business, I’ve learned there is one great truth above all others for those of us who pen words for a living; and that truth is this… On July 4th, no one reads your stuff! Of course there are those who hunker down beneath their beach umbrella with a good book, but this isn’t a book and not too many people are dumb enough to take a laptop to the beach – sand! I suppose there are those who may tap into the Norton Patch’s site on their smartphone or IPhone or whatever [my cellphone is just a phone – imagine that?], but still; it’s a …
Wednesday, June 20, 2012
The columnist resumes the discussion on bullying.
I have many regrets, and I'm sure everyone does. The stupid things you do, you regret... if you have any sense, and if you don't regret them, maybe you're stupid. ~ Katharine Hepburn In my June 6 column, I asked, “What's so new about bullying? Is it different now than it was when you were a kid?” and I chronicled many of the differences between life when I was in school back in the fifties and sixties and life for kids today. One reader said… There’s teasing and there’s BULLYING...HUGE difference!!! If there had been computers when I was being bullied, I don’t know if I’d be here today. I was so depressed. Cyber-bullying has made it so much worse for the kids today. My heart goes out to anyone who has to endure that torture. Another …
Wednesday, June 6, 2012
The columnist is baffled by the focus on bullying in our schools. What's so new about bullying? Is it different now than it was when you were a kid?
Georgie Porgie pudding and pie, Kissed the girls and made them cry. When the boys came out to play, Georgie Porgie ran away. I graduated from Mansfield High School in the mid-60s; 1966 to be precise. Those were good times – simpler times. There were no computers, so there were no social networking sites such as Facebook, Twitter and the like. Email wasn’t even a word, never mind a reality. And the only thing resembling cell phones were the telephones at the police station so those arrested could make their ‘one phone call’ before being locked up in their cell – not that I would know anything about that. A website was a place in the corner of the room where a Daddy Long Leg’s hung out, and blogs were, well, to be honest blogs were …
Wednesday, May 23, 2012
The columnist is clamoring for a topic this week. Let’s see what he’s come up with.
I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying. ~ Oscar Wilde I’m struggling to come up with a suitable subject about which to pontificate this week. If I were you I’d take advantage of it; enjoy it; bask in my glaring deficiency of loquaciousness, because this doesn’t happen very often. Generally, even during the droughts when I think I have nothing to say, I manage to pound out a fairly substantial column. It was about a year ago that I last had this problem. I was on deadline for my weekly contribution to the Mansfield Patch and struggling to put even a solitary word to paper or, to be more accurate, to computer monitor. But even in the midst of the worst brain freeze/writer’s block I’d experienced …
Wednesday, May 9, 2012
The columnist divulges one of his major life challenges.
“Calvin: Do you believe in the devil? You know, a supreme evil being dedicated to the temptation, corruption, and destruction of man? Hobbes: I'm not sure that man needs the help.” I have a problem. I can never go into the Honey Dew Donut shop in Norton again, or at least not as long as they have the Monte Cristo breakfast sandwich on the menu! Have you seen this thing? It’s ham, egg and Swiss cheese on French toast. I mean, what’s not to like? I also have to do my best to avoid Hot Dogs and More. It’s not so much the hot dogs I have the problem with as it is the "more"; yummy cheeseburgers, super-crispy French fries, fried clams, onion rings, fried scallops, fish and chips; pretty much all the members of my favorite food group – fried…
Wednesday, April 25, 2012
The columnist looks at the relationship between fathers and sons.
It is not flesh and blood, but heart which makes us fathers and sons. ~Friedrich von Schiller My son, Chris, and his wife, Karre surprised me with a ticket to the Red Sox 100th Anniversary Celebration at Fenway Park last Friday. More than 200 former players, coaches and managers returned to the fabled ballpark, among them Bobby Doerr and Johnny Pesky, both nonagenarians [that means they’re in their 90s. I like big words]. It was a great event. The game itself was another story, but I don’t want to put a damper on my column, so I’ll forego the sordid details of that debacle. My son and I headed to the Braintree ‘T’ stop at 10:30 Friday morning. The game was scheduled for a 3:05 p.m. start, but the 100th anniversary festivities were to begin…
Connie Boggs
1:59 pm on Wednesday, August 29, 2012
Would Sarah Bellum the group spokeswoman prefer her old parents move in with her? She should be so lucky to know that not so well-off Seniors will have a place to live. There is a serious need for affordable housing all over this country. Think about it Ms. Bellum youth is not forever. more ›