Wednesday, February 15, 2012
It seems the columnist is feeling demographically challenged lately. Let’s see why.
I hate the way market forces try to separate us out in to the appropriate demographic - basically in order to sell us things. We need to find stories that we can enjoy together, not separately. ~ Emma Thompson Today I saw an ad for a pair of sneakers that glow in the dark. They cost $140. Okay, first of all I’m not paying $140 for sneakers unless they also do windows. I hate washing windows, so that $140 would be money well spent; a well-positioned investment. Secondly, why on earth would I want a pair of sneakers that glow in the dark? A friend suggested that wearing iridescent footwear would make it safer to walk my dog at night, which would be fine if I actually had a dog. I don’t! Another pal commented that glow-in-the-dark …
Wednesday, February 1, 2012
It looks like our columnist is on a tirade, but that’s nothing new!
A rejection is nothing more than a necessary step in the pursuit of success. ~ Bo Bennett There's a disturbing new trend in some public schools, which I’m quite sure will eventually become a mandate as these types of insidious things often do. The high mucky-mucks at these particular schools are asking their students to refrain from wearing so-called ‘celebratory clothing’; clothes, buttons, t-shirts and the like, which are given to kids who attend birthday parties or other celebrations. The kids then wear these adornments to school as a kind of badge of honor; a way to show they attended the event. Apparently, this ‘celebratory clothing memento thing’ is all the rage. The whole idea sounds rather ludicrous to me, but what do I know; I’m…
Wednesday, January 18, 2012
There are times when the columnist just needs to let off a little steam. Caution: This is one of those times!
Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist. ~ George Carlin I think I’m morphing into a curmudgeon. Perhaps not a curmudgeon of the dyed-in-the-wool, full-fledged, card carrying variety, but at the very least; a highly cynical, overly-critical 63-year-old angry, white male who’s just about had it with everyone and everything! I’ve just said some extremely harsh things about myself. If anyone else had said these things about me I’d likely have attacked them. Not physically; I don’t do that anymore, but at the very least I would have retaliated by unleashing a fiery verbal barrage on them, unlike anything they had ever witnessed. I’m exaggerating a bit here. I’m not really highly cynical – just basically cynical…
Wednesday, January 4, 2012
Columnist shares a word of encouragement for those feeling downtrodden and ready to give up their hopes and dreams.
To be, or not to be: that is the question: Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune, Or to take arms against a sea of troubles, And by opposing end them? To die: to sleep; No more; and by a sleep to say we end The heart-ache and the thousand natural shocks That flesh is heir to, 'tis a consummation Devoutly to be wish'd. To die, to sleep; To sleep: perchance to dream: ay, there's the rub; For in that sleep of death what dreams may come When we have shuffled off this mortal coil, Must give us pause: ~ Shakespeare, Hamlet, Act III, Scene I Stuff happens! And you can bet your last dollar that oftentimes life just happens too! The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune aka adversity, trouble, bad …
Wednesday, December 21, 2011
Columnist making a list and checking it twice. Facetious remarks√ Tongue-in-cheek comments√ Sarcasm√ A bizarre sense of humor√ Now let's see if he's being naughty or nice.
- OPINION
- Bob Havey
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Wednesday, December 21, 2011
“It is a curious fact that people are never so trivial as when they take themselves seriously.” ~ Oscar Wilde In the event you’re thinking the title of this week’s offering to The Way I See It doesn’t make any sense, you’re totally wrong. It makes lots of sense. Although I’m not sure saying that it makes lots of sense is any more resounding than simply stating that it makes sense. It either makes sense or it doesn’t, right? Are there actually degrees of sense? Does lots of sense represent more sense than just plain old sense? Confused? Sorry. This is how my brain works. Vitriol may be defined as venom, anger, bitterness, wrath and a number of other things, none of them particularly upbeat. So why, For The Love of Vitriol? Good question…
Wednesday, December 7, 2011
The enemy seeks to kill and destroy!
“Many people hear voices when no one is there. Some of them are called mad and are shut up in rooms where they stare at the walls all day. Others are called writers and they do pretty much the same thing.” ~ Margaret Chittenden I love that quote from novelist, Margaret Chittenden, and I’ve referred to it more than a few times in my writing. There aren’t too many things that can happen to a writer worse than the feeling of an impending deadline closing in as he or she sits helplessly in front of a computer staring off into the abyss of lost ideas. Been there! Done that! Not fun! Granted, there are many worse things that can happen in life, but for the moment I’m talking about things that are associated strictly with the world of writing…
Wednesday, November 23, 2011
The columnist set out on a quest to familiarize himself with the town of Norton, acquaint himself with the local citizenry and perhaps gather some information he could use for his column. Unfortunately, he did!
- OPINION
- Bob Havey
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Wednesday, November 23, 2011
“It is a curious thought, but it is only when you see people looking ridiculous that you realize just how much you love them.” ~ Agatha Christie I live in Easton, very close to Highland Plaza, which is home to a Target store. Target is one on my favorite local haunts, not because I’m a shopper, but because I’m a caffeine addict and an observer. Not like the observers on my favorite TV show, Fringe. You know, those weird emotionless, baldheaded guys in the drab business suits who show up at the most unexpected times in the most unexpected places. I’m nothing like that. First of all I’m a very emotional person. I wear my feelings on my sleeve. As a matter of fact, one time my wife washed the sweater I’d been wearing after going through a…
Wednesday, November 9, 2011
The columnist reaches a writing landmark, shares his thoughts about growing older and recalls a slightly tainted road trip to the Wheaton Library.
I’m celebrating two milestones this week. First of all, today’s offering in the Norton Patch is the 100th column I’ve penned for Patch.com. Secondly, I’ll be 63 years old this coming Friday. That is, assuming I make it to Friday. Hey, one never knows! Stuff happens! Communications with the "Muse," my inaugural contribution as a Patch columnist, was published in the Easton Patch on Oct. 26 of last year. Ninety-nine columns and some 120,000 carefully chosen words later (give or take a few thousand) I’m still at it. One of these days I’ll get it write. Yes, I know that should say, right. It’s a pun. Not a very good pun, but a pun nonetheless. When you really think about it, there’s probably no such thing as a good pun. The words good and pun…
Wednesday, October 26, 2011
The columnist is a bit under the weather, but that can’t stop him from sharing his somewhat onerous thoughts – unfortunately!
“Some mornings, it's just not worth chewing through the leather straps.” ~ Emo Phillips I’m starting this week’s offering with a little whine. Sorry, I didn’t bring any cheese. You’ll have to provide your own. I went to bed at 10 p.m. last night. I knew I had a busy day ahead of me, and I don’t function well when I don’t get my rest. I slept well, but if I didn’t know better I’d think I’d had a few too many at The Downtown Café and didn’t hit the sheets until 3 or 4 in the morning. I woke up at 6 a.m., poured myself a 16-ounce mug of coffee, which is the first thing I do every morning and without which I could not function, and turned on the TV. I’m a bit obsessed with the weather. I don’t know why, I just feel that I have to watch the …
Wednesday, October 12, 2011
Facetious remarks, tongue-in-cheek comments, sarcasm and a touch of wisdom combined with a bizarre sense of humor are what you can expect from our new columnist who makes his debut in today’s Norton Patch.
"If you're going to be crazy, you have to get paid for it or else you're going to be locked up." ~ Hunter S. Thompson I’m sitting in my office, door shut, music blaring on iTunes and an Autumn Leaves™ scented Yankee Candle burning on the corner of my desk. The scented candle is to give me a sense that autumn is upon us, even though it isn’t and apparently won’t be for some time. As I write this, it’s 85 degrees outside and there’s scarcely a turned leaf in sight. My door is shut because my two grandsons, Logan and Ethan, are out in the living room with my wife. Logan, a spirited 4-year old, is running back and forth between the kitchen and the living room on his hands and knees, barking and licking my son’s dog, Remy, who I suppose is …
Bob Havey
10:52 am on Friday, February 17, 2012
Thank you, Jasmine. Glad you enjoyed it. Yes, you're right. I cannot eat whatever I want. I know! more ›