This is not what I expected.
We're entering the year 2012.
By now, I should be using my jet pack to get around the neighborhood, or taking a pill for food.
Of course, I’d only be working a couple of days a week and playing golf on the moon the rest of the time. I was expecting to be using my four-iron on the 10th crater. Darn George Jetson.
In the 1960s cartoon “The Jetsons,” George zipped around in a flying car, had a robot maid and worked a few hours a day.
He even had a machine put his clothes on.
This was supposed to be life in the 21st century.
We were lied to.
What a rip job!
I’m on my 14th hour of work today, existing on coffee, which was made on a stove, not by pushing a button.
I was promised a flying car by now. There was a flying 1973 Ford Pinto, but it was a troubled vehicle, both on the ground and in the air.
I still drive on overcrowded roads with stressed-out drivers who are working 60-hour workweeks. I was supposed to be able to get into my space car, press a button and eat sausage sandwiches on Saturn.
In the 1960s, they said that parking wouldn’t be a problem. I would have been able to pull up to the front door of my office on Jupiter and fold up my car into a briefcase and put it next to my space desk.
By now, I was supposed to be able to control the weather with my weather tool. I’m having a big party this weekend; can I have some sun and temps in the 70s? Judging by the storms of 2011, that hasn’t exactly worked out, has it?
I was supposed to have a machine where I could type in something and get an answer. Wait, I did get that. It’s called Google, and that’s how I did some of the research for this column.
Well, something has worked out for me.
That's all well and good, but I can’t go into space travel or even time travel. I was counting on that by now. I really want to see Mars before I die, you know.
That was supposed to be a gimme by now. I was expecting to spend some time at my timeshare at my under-the-sea resort, you know, the one at the bottom of the Atlantic Ocean.
Can someone get me one of those Hover boards? Michael J. Fox had one in “Back to the Future.” George Jetson had these things.
Why not me?
This 21st century certainly isn't what it was cracked up to be.
Darn you, George Jetson.