Better Warn the Kiddos…

I think the most stressful part of my day is the minivan ride. I’m serious. Sounds ludicrous – Yep – totally nuts – I know…  I do not even go very far each day – but I find I spend a lot of time in my car transporting my kiddos from school to home and from home to various activities. My older children are only involved in one sport each and both of them have only one other additional extracurricular activity. But from September to June we spend most of our time Monday through Saturday traveling back and forth between three schools, some field or indoor sports complex,  and other various locations. I can drive up to 30 plus miles easily in one day and never leave Norton! Its crazy, I know…

I actually dread driving.  I do not have a crazy phobia of driving… It is just a fear of developing permanent physical and mental health issues from transporting my blessed offspring from place to place. Aside from the obvious stressors of time deadlines, traffic, gas prices and car issues… Me and my rather cohesive, cooperative and amicable group of kiddos turn into gremlins in the minivan. Poof! The minute the van door opens it begins… Minivan Mayhem!!  (And yes, you read that right – I included myself in the gremlin group classification).

It was not always this way.  When my little munchkins were babies,  going for rides in the minivan was a peaceful respite!!  I would buckle them in safely with their sippy cups and books, then stop at the “Dunky” to get my coffee and happily drive along. Then something happened… I do not know when – but I do know why… I think my kiddos smartened up and realized the extent of Mom’s “Law” could not be fully enforced when she was driving… Soooo, being the opportunists that they are –my children capitalized (and still do) on a chance to drive me and one another crazy…

And let’s not forget my alter ego – the minivan me... I find myself driven into a state of constant irrational irritability when in the car… I find myself threatening to take away things like Christmas or grounding them until they are elderly. 

While driving, my husband and I scheme like mad scientists . We spend our time together designing plans on how to build a minivan that decreases the chaos and increases the "Zen like feelings" of family togetherness. Maybe a minivan that has a white noise or cricket sound machine... Hey! I know! How about passenger seats that are in a single row, so no one can touch or look at the other? Or my favorite,  a minivan designed with a “limousine type” rising and lowering sound proof glass that separates the children from the grownups…

 In all seriousness - Minivans should come with a warning label...

Yep - It is just plain awful.

Anyways, there is some light at the end of the tunnel.  The school year is coming to an end. We just wrapped up most of our extracurricular activities and the car trips will soon be reduced by half… (Big sigh here)...  And hopefully real soon, I will begin to feel like my old self again… Warm and fuzzy and loving. Just like that little creature Gizmo from the 1984 movie “Gremlins”... Remember him????

I just better warn the kiddos not to bring any water with us on long road trips this summer…  :)