With my breath taken from me as I listen to the stories of what is experienced by someone who runs a food pantry… I begin to feel discouraged.
The volunteer coordinator at the Cupboard of Kindness – a local food pantry in our town - looks at my saddened and surprised expression and pauses… Hesitates a bit in disbelief at what she reads on my face.
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She seems to do a “double take.”
Then, she sighs and gently says, “It can be truly difficult some days...”
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“I just thought.. or had hoped....” I said under my breathe and without much conviction.
She kindly pats me on my shoulder.
My heart aches as I stand there with my donation. I am embarrassed that some of the donations gathered are expired -- useless food items presented to a place that needs and deserves much more.
How these volunteers keep their faith day to day and forge onward must take great strength..
I had not realized…
We quickly empty the boxes that seemed so full and place them in categories on the shelves. Unaware of what it means to go hungry, my two youngest children joyfully attempt to stock the bare shelves with canned goods – and as I watch and help... I am crushed by a landslide of emotion.
I find myself humbled that I thought 150 plus donations would make a dent in what was needed here- in this place. That our mere presence would bring some light to the daily work that these volunteers do .
As if to read my thoughts, the kind woman at the Cupboard of Kindness graciously applauds our efforts. She bends over to my youngest girl and gives her a high five. My five year old daughter beams with pride as her little brother runs over to receive his kudos as well. She says to them, “You worked really hard today! All these cans and boxes of food will help a lot of people!”
As I left with my sweet little ones skipping along side of me I could not help but feel guilty for all the times I wished to have more…
I start to think about all of the pettiness that we consume ourselves with on this journey … The grudges we hold onto.. The obstacles we cannot get around.. The heartache that steals joy…. The sadness that comes from loss.. The inability to do more… And Thanksgiving -- UGH..My stomach aches...
Just then, my five year old, Faith, wraps her arms around my leg as we are getting into the mini-van to leave. She looks up at me with a warm irresistible grin and says, “That was good Mommy..I love good. All those people will have full bellies! That makes me happy. They will be happy.”
Leave it to Faith to love what is good... without conditions or expectations... And to embrace what comes from that… She is true to her name…
Happy is good.
To have a little Faith around is pretty darn good too...
If you look close, you might find Faith everywhere. Maybe even stocking the shelves at your local food pantry...